Silhouette of a Draining Heart

I

Colors pour from my eyes
The sky’s silent, empty tears
Cannot wash away the stains I’ve made
The darkening rainbow of blood splashed across the sky
Runs down the fading brick walls
Pools in the cracked dog dish
Dries into the crimson velvet of your room
A solitary plume is left floating in the ice-cold water
Resting motionless in the gushing rapids
Soak in the flowing colors
Return them to my fingertips
I need them
I
need
them
~
Colors pour into your eyes
Bleeding through the canvas
Filling the rifts of your mind
Oil.
Your blood flows like oil.
Black sludge in your veins.
Is it colorless
Or all colors melded together?
The whites of your eyes are gone
Flown to the sun to burn away all trace
The light is fading
The rainbow is dripping away
Filling in the hollowed night
The colors bleed
Colors always bleed

II

The colors of our eyes mix
Running down our faces
Our waltz splashes through the dense black of night
Your hand melts in mine
Go back to the surface, rip through the mud
Before the wrinkled satin dress tears
Into the sun’s fiery grasp we dance
Violet
~
Color
Color is nothing
Dark
Color is everything
The dark shatters
Violet
Violet shines through
The mirror shatters
Shards of violet
Pulsing in violet
Color is violet
Each pump of my heart resounds
A deafening violet
Vi-o-let
Violet is everything
~
The final chilled drop falls
Our dance sinks into the earth
Our eyes have faded away
A violet rainbow fills the sky
Scraping against the hallowed night
The colors bleed away
Colors always bleed away

Communet

One day for spite
We each had to write
A poem a peer would read,
The teacher grinned
Like we had all sinned
And set our thoughts to bleed.
Our pens delayed
But soon we obeyed
And splashed our pages red,
By symbol’s face
We wrote such a pace
We should all have been dead.

Now I, a child
So meek and mild
I never spoke a word,
Wrote with such strength
At such a length
I knew I must be heard.
My paper beamed
My word-voice screamed
With soul I never told,
A dazzling show
Of joy and woe
A masterpiece, behold!

And then it was time
By rhythm and rhyme
To read each other’s works,
I felt like a king
Since my poem would bring
Sound to my voice where it lurks.
The papers were passed
My heart beat too fast
Nervous to take to the stage,
So now here’s my crown
I’m left looking down
At the words that plague my own page.

This post is about...screw it, I'm tired

So pretty much every day in Journalism I spend the whole class on The Onion. Its awesome. That's pretty much all you need to know. That's also pretty much all I'm going to write for now. Oh wait, here's my horoscope:

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18
Don't let negativity win out today, even though it probably will, because you're a worthless human being who most likely doesn't deserve to be happy!

Social Anxiety! Oh joy!

Okay, so I've had this crazy mash-up of good and bad fortune happening all at once and in congruence with each other over the past couple days. I'd rather not explain the whole thing, since its really complicated. Imagine Needful Things by Stephen King, and that could give you an idea of how complicated the combination of events was. Luckily, all the fortunes added together had a positive sum. Hurray positive sums!

Anyway, our final project in Psychology involves researching some sort of psychological issue and presenting it to the class. The teacher assigned me Social Anxiety. Not as exciting as some of the others, but she either chose it for a reason or there was some sort of huge coincidence - that's right, after researching it for hours, I discovered that I have Social Anxiety. It hasn't been diagnosed or anything, but it seems pretty obvious to me (and like everyone else). So...yeah, it explains a lot. Look up more info here (if you want): http://www.socialphobia.org/

By the way, Thursday the 28th was my gerbil's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALISBURY! I think it was 7 people who wished him the same, but its not like I was counting or anything...

Yeah, that's it for today.

From my notebook

These are a couple of rhymes I jotted down during History class. At the time I knew what I was doing with them, but looking at them later I'm not too sure. I wish I wasn't so easily distracted, then my stuff would be more interesting...


Double Edge Words

Your crisp twisted truths tear and rip through my stomach
Like swallowing thorns just to get some cheap chuckles
You know I'd cry stop in a million flavors
But fish hooks are lodging themselves in my knuckles

You sleep in the daylight and conjure these poisons
They plague and devour our garden's sweet song
The hummingbirds swim in cold puddles of acid
And hope that the rust in their throat isn't strong

A changeling made of soup and silver
Built too high to touch the earth
Your bloody eyes change virtues to lies
And curse the values of birth

Alphabeta

A traveler to the star-splattered sky
Breaking backs along the way
Careful not to trip the alarm
Digging deeper in the well
Every step closer makes the road longer
Fountain stopped flowing
Gaining by losing
Hungry on a full stomach
Ivory keys on a self-playing piano
Jump forth to give an answer: another question
Killing the cat over and over
Laughing at the insanity crowded around
Manic to reach the destination
Never closer than when started
Open fields close
Pacing the university halls
Questions plague and pressure
Running from the build-up
Sky’s limit is a drop of rain in the ocean
Truth will elude
Universe hides it
Varying its wavelengths
Winter’s reflection shimmers
X’s value
Yonder lies the intellectual’s downfall
Z, the end, unattainable.

The same can't be said for History...

Yeah, we bombed our History presentation today. Our group had to do a skit in which we change something that happened between World War 2 and the Cuban Missile Crisis. Our subject was the failure of the American atomic bomb to detonate. An interesting topic, but due to a failure to cooperate, we ended up doing improv. It was the worst presentation in the history of my school career, to put it lightly. There was only one presentation that could potentially be worse, one in 9th grade involving owls and permanent trauma. I don't want to talk about it.

(so true)

Its been a pretty sucky day overall...I could complain about it, but I'm trying to stay positive in spite of this crushing depression (it fluxuates day to day; today it has rendered me catatonic). So looking on the bright side, it rained today! Some people may see it as a hindrance or inconvenience, but personally I love rain. Its just one of the most beautiful weather situations in my opinion. Take it how you will.

Ah well, back to work.

English presentation...went well? Hurray!

Well I figured my English presentation would go terribly. Much to my surprise (and pleasure), it seemed like everyone in class really got into my adventure in lateral thinking...thing. Considering my past presentations in English, I was the luckiest person alive. No angry mobs or anything! Although my presentation didn't go exactly as planned, it was awesome.

Basically the presentation was a competition to see who could answer the most puzzles. At the beginning, I said "The winner will get a Charmander" and I pulled out a 4' stuffed Charmander. Part of the trick was that it involved lateral thinking - I was actually going to give away a small Charmander figurine, about an inch or so tall. I never actually said I would give out the giant Charmander, so it would be fine...until an angry mob formed and chased me out of the county. However, the bell rang before it came to that, so no angry mob!

The class did 4 of my 32 puzzles (much smaller than I thought) but they really got enthusiastic over them. Well, at least it seemed that way. And since Sean is still working on them in Journalism, I figure at least someone found it interesting. Hopefully I get a grade reflecting not my oral performance but the students' interest...

I guess that's it for now.

Sunset is at hand

Now we stand with coarse waves lapping over our ankles
Arms outstretched, fingertips praying to scrape the horizon
You say if we reach it you’ll never let go
You’ll hold my hand and drift silently away
But I know your hands are buttered and your heart is set
I’ll be left alone, my feet molding to the coral
Watching you fade as the sun swallows itself
And I’ll wait in the dark
The clammy palms of ghosts caressing my cheeks
Vampires thirsting to trace the fearful tears down my face
Chanting in their wooden voices a history of mistakes
I listen to these twisted thorns of the future,
Cursing as my hand embraces yours.

Pota-toe

So I have another ingrown toenail. It sucks, since I already had one on the big toe on my left foot, and I had to undergo 2 surgeries in order to keep my toe from ripping itself apart. Now my right foot is infected and the toe is slowly swelling like a ripening strawberry. Its totally gross, because every time you touch it pus and blood start squirting out and it hurts like hell.

In order to prevent gangreen and the following rotting of your toes, you need surgery to remove the segment that is growing in wrong. However, my parents don't seem to realize this very well. In order to prevent too much pain or swelling, you can soak your toes in epsom salts or just plain water. My parents firmly believe this will cure it. But its not like soaking your toes in water will prevent your toenails from growing. So my feet are getting steadily worse, but my mother is determined to avoid surgery in any way possible. Its only a matter of time before my feet end up like this:

(not my feet, just so you know)

On a lighter note, I reached Chapter 2 in Mother 3!
...ugh, I'm feeling too sick about my toes to say anythign else.

The red one with the huge mouth, its the Ultimate ChrisStenzel! I mean Chimera.

I recently started a new file on Mother 3. This news is big enough to count as an entire 4 paragraph post on its own. Really, because all I can think, breathe, eat, and pump through my veins is Mother 3 when I start a new file. Even when I don't play Mother 3, I'm usually subconsciously Mother 3-ing continuously in everyday life. Like I'll play Mother 3 songs in my head during class and tap out the beats with my pencil, or institute Mother 3 characters into books when they get boring, or even use Mother 3 quotes as responses:
"Can you help me with my math homework?"
"I'm sorry, Mike, but that's called sexual harassment these days."
"But my name is Andrew..."
Anyway, in my opinion Mother 3 is the best video game ever made. I'm just going to stop here, I'm too busy playing Mother 3 to post about Mother 3 on this blog.

By the way, Mother 3 appears 11 times in this post. Its an important fact to know.

Rainflash

Leopard shining through milk,
Spittle on the windowsill.
Tearing pink tissue,
Slipping softly forward
With kettle corn thoughts.
A dripping faucet.
Liquid sunshine falling
gently,
Cotton soaking in the light
And dripping gray
Upon shingled umbrellas.
Muddy waters,
Pooled pavement,
Sinking ships,
A glass mirror.
Remembering.

Leopard shining through milk,
Spittle on the windowsill.
Gathering the light.
A blackening carousel,
Crunching against
Clashing mountains.
Gloom on the outside,
But warm by the fire.
Soon started,
Soon over,
A string on my finger,
A moment.


Original "found poem" haiku:

Rain Leopard shines through milk
Spittle on the windowsill
Tearing pink tissues

Creative Writing; A Shift in Site

I'm a writer, but I tend to dislike everything I write. Is that normal? Guess it doesn't matter. My parents and teachers tend to shower my work with cascades of compliments (dislike), my friends tend to grunt and play video games (like). Hmm.

Anyway, at a teacher's suggestion, I started keeping a wiki of my works, for some sort of organized file I could look back on later. However, the recent changes in pbwiki.com have made it difficult to keep my wiki working. The main reason I even started that wiki was so people would read it. And, well, nobody read it, so that was kinda useless. Sure, nobody reads this blog either, but why have 2 seperate pages that nobody reads when I can have one? Easier to manage, at least. So yeah, I'm going to start infusing my writing into this blog. Hurray for making decisions!

...that's about it, I'll probably start off by adding my older works in as seperate posts, then see what happens from there.

Adventures in Lateral Thinking

Acting on an anonymous phone call, police raid a house to arrest a suspected murderer. They don't know what he looks like, but they do know that his name is John. Inside the house they find a carpenter, a lorry driver, a car mechanic, and a fireman playing cards. Without even asking his name, the police immediately arrest the fireman. How do they know they've got their man?

This is an example of a lateral thinking puzzle. Lateral thinking puzzles are solved by thinking creatively rather than thinking by analytical steps. For example, when asked which side of a chicken has more feathers, the analytical approach would be to examine each side of the chicken to decide which has more feathers. However, the lateral thinking answer would be the outside: it is technically a side, and it has more feathers than the inside (hopefully). So do you have the answer yet?

For the final English project I had originally planned on creating a short film about The Tommyknockers by Stephen King, but due to complications (no actors, script, or camera) I'm changing my book to Mind Benders: Adventures in Lateral Thinking by David J. Bodycombe, and I'll probably subject the class to dozens of mind-breaking torture puzzles like the one at the beginning of this post. I'm sure it'll be fine...considering anything would be better than presenting a non-existing movie. Harumph.

Figure it out yet? I'm not one to spoil answers, so just try to get the answer yourself. And don't cheat! Not that I can stop you, or anything.

Digital Aging

I stumbled upon this digital painting called "Last Men on Earth" by Wojciech (Voytek) Nowakowki, and I absolutely love it. He's an amazing artist, check out his website: http://www.voytek-art.com/

This particular image made me immediately think of 3 things: First was the collapse of Skyworld from Kid Icarus, the second was the collapse of Laputa from Castle in the Sky, and third was a more abstract swirl of philosophical images concerning humanity and its fate. To avoid seeming too dorkish, I'll just avoid all three of these images and talk about something completely different.

One of the English presentations someone did involved Pop Culture Jeopardy, with the generation gaps facing each other (the teacher against the whole class). Categories involved Game Shows, New York Times Best Seller List, VH1 Reality shows, the Digital Age, the 2009 Oscars, etc. Everyone in the class pretty much knew everything, except for the teacher...and me. I knew almost none of the answers, which did nothing for my self esteem. I tend not to think about how seperate I am from society, but events like these force the truth to surface. How am I supposed to relate to my peers if I don't even know what the heck a "tweeter" is? Its no wonder I have so few friends...

Well, what are my options?

1) Spend years in intensive study on every potential pop culture reference someone may make. Impossible! This pop culture thing is so rapidly evolving that if you don't already know everything up to this moment in time there's no way you'll ever be able to keep up! This must be why girls are always gossiping and texting - to keep up with current popular events so they don't lose all their friends. Sigh.

2) Fake it - make up pop culture references and hope they pertain. "Did you hear Brittney has flat feet? Seriously, she's like a duck!" Nevermind, that's a terrible idea.

3) Give up on ever understanding culture, and potentially ever having peer-group friends. Possible...very possible. Who needs these lazy, arrogant, backstabbing people as friends? Though I may be 18, I have the digital-age abilities of a 70 year old, and therefore should remain in that social group. Ah, who am I kidding...I do need these backstabbing friends! Its so weird that no matter how cruel teenagers can be to each other, I still feel a need to belong. I mean, I've seen people laughing it up and being totally friendly with someone, and the instant they turn their backs they say the nastiest things about each other. Like no matter how hard you try, there will always be something to damage your reputation, but you have to keep trying so you get a good reputation...It doesn't make any sense! We're all just tearing each other down to build ourselves up, but we don't seem to realize if everyone is busy destroying, nothing can possibly be constructed!

BAH! I give up! I'll just become a hermit who hates everyone.