Doors, windows, and maniac squirrels

People in my school seem to have a real problem with opening doors. Its amazing to show up in the morning and watch 3,000 kids attempt to pile through one open door when there are 3 other closed ones right next to it. Same thing in between classes too, it takes like 2 minutes to walk down one hallway because there's only one door open at the end of it. How hard can it be to open a door, people? Whatever, I can't get started on this or I'll end up ranting about how much the human race sucks. I do that too much...

So I was sitting in Journalism class and had a flashback! Those are always fun. Note: Journalism is divided into 3 1/2 hour segments, the middle one being our lunch period. Just one example of how the schedule in our school doesn't make any sense. Anyway...

This one time everyone left Journalism for lunch and our teacher decided to leave the windows open in the room. You see, the weather was really nice, and the smell of moldy crackers in the room was not. Hopefully something wonderfully magical would happen and the smell would dissipate by the time we got back. And everyone knows wonderfully magical things don't happen when windows are closed. Duh.

So after lunch ended, I made my usual mad dash back to the Journalism room (on the opposite end of the school from the cafeteria) and managed to get back at about the same time as the teacher. He opens the door, we walk in, and this one girl that was with us starts screaming for seemingly no reason. "What's wrong?" asks the teacher in a slight panic, and the girl screams: "A SQUIRREL IS EATING MY BOOKBAG!" And sure enough, there was a squirrel sitting on her desk, nonchalantly chewing her bag straps off.

Now, I don't remember exactly what happened next, but I do remember that the result involved 5 desks, 2 bookshelves and 1 student collapsing, along with the destruction of once-perfectly functioning curtains. As more students slowly filed into the room, everyone kept saying the same thing ("What the ****?") followed by referrals for the use of poor language in class. Ahh, that was a fun 4 minutes of my life.

The moral of this story? Open doors, not windows! Or maybe the moral is just that squirrels are hilarious. Either way works, I guess.